Intimacy and Sexuality Counseling
We often say that what is going in the marriage is reflective of what is going on in the bedroom, and what is going on in the bedroom is often reflective of what is going on in the marriage. Since physical intimacy is so closely linked with emotional intimacy, in most relationships, it would make sense for a couple to work on both areas of their married life in the same environment. The experience of making oneself vulnerable to another is potentially scary and takes a lot of courage. Together, we learn about and understand the dynamics of your relationship and how to navigate it in order to increase Shalom Bayit and connection between partners.
Abby approaches each relationship with both a behavioral and psychological approach. We stay open minded to various angles and potential challenges the couple may be facing. We utilize various models of couples communication and assess which is most comfortable and valuable to all parties.
Within the first 4 meetings, Abby takes the time to understand each of the partners as well as the relationship.
Ideally we meet like this:
Week 1 – Couple
Week 2 – Spouse 1
Week 3 – Spouse 2
Week 4 – The couple
In this way, each person has their own space to speak privately and freely with Abby, as well as the shared space of the couples work together. After this initial phase, we create a contract, including shared goals to work on together. While these goals may shift over time during of our work, they serve to keep our work on track and focused.
Some goals might seem quite lofty to a couple that has been struggling for a long time. Couples often wonder how long it will take to work through their conflicts. Abby’s rule of thumb is that a couple should consider the number of years that they have been struggling with a specific issue and then divide it in half in order to get an idea of how long it may take to reach a final resolution. For those couples who are not willing to engage in therapy for that amount of time, we try to make the most of every session and check in regularly to be sure progress and evolvement is taking place in relation to the therapeutic goals, in the absence of full counseling sessions.